J. Darris Mitchell
A Crown of Cobwebs
A CROWN OF COBWEBS IS OUT!!! If you read via an ereader, YOU CAN READ IT RIGHT NOW!!!!! Ok, sorry, I think I’ve used up my exclamation mark quota already, but I can’t help it, I’m excited!
This is my first fantasy novel and I just like it so much and I want all of you to like it too! It has everything a good fantasy book needs: a powerful princess in an uncomfortable position with bizarre and awesome spider powers, a pickpocket more interested in snorting his scores than spending them, a sentient automaton who can change his body into any shape he wishes and wants the world to know how awesome he is, and a brooding leather-clad thrall who can trade his flesh to walk through the Ways of the Dead.
OK, so maybe it’s a little different than what you’ve read before but you’re still gonna love it! (Oh, dang, another exclamation point).
If you have read any of the Discworld novels, this will might seem like their gritty, less-British cousin. If you have played D&D, you will feel for this party of folks just trying to make a name for themselves while The Powers That Be use them for their own ends. If you like action, get ready for a hammer so heavy it can only be lifted in combat, transformative three-dimensional spider attacks, and more skeleton battles than you thought possible! (last one I promise).
This is the first year in a long time when I will not be throwing myself an extravagant, excessively large, and just generally extra birthday party. I’m trying not to be bummed about it. Normally for my birthday, I smoke an excessively large piece of meat, grill an entire field of corn, demand everyone wear swimsuits, and a devise an elaborate system of games involving squirt guns, and kiddy pools. I have hosted homebrew beer competitions in which 5 brewers have each bought five gallons of beer and only foam was left over.
I love parties. Absolutely love them, but with Covid cases being what they are in Texas and more specifically Travis County, it seems like a pretty bad idea right now.
In consolation, I bought myself a new kilt. It has a corset tie above the butt and man does it look good (I’ll post on Instagram?).
Bird of the Week
We went to Hornsby Bend, the solid waste treatment plant for Austin (aka the poop factory). I let my son sit in the front seat (without a seatbelt! GASP!) while we drove around the evaporation ponds, looking for birds and smelling like shit. We saw a black bellied whistling duck with 21 (TWENTY-ONE!) juveniles following her. I think she was babysitting because we saw other adult whistling ducks around, all of which loving their time away from the kids. Again, gonna post the pictures on the twitter and instragram. Follow me there! Alright!